Alright, truth be told, I'm damn jealous of Steve Tignor getting to go over to Paris to cover the French Open. I have to read about him watching matches from court-side and walking around Paris, taking the Metro, looking at svelte French women and eating French cuisine. I once got to go to Wimbledon on assignment, actually I had to pay my own way, but I had garnered enough free-lance stories for Tennis Magazine to make it worth my while. And I had a great time, even when Peter Bodo, the dean of tennis writers, informed me as I sat in the press area to watch the first-round match of Magnus Norman, the subject of my main article and #2 in the world at the time, that he, Bodo, was actually doing an article on Norman. Sinking feeling in gut, but my article did appear in magazine and I got paid. Anyway, watching the French Open on TV is an experience I sometimes enjoy. I just saw Serena close out in the third set a young Russian woman, who's face I know, but who's name I can't remember. They even showed the end of the Gabashvili (don't expect the spelling to be right here, either) beating Roddick. And I love to see Roddick get beat. The chagrin on his face, having to take a loss on the chin. The added benefit today of seeing his beautiful wife, Brooklyn Decker, watching on with bored (let's get this match over Andy, so we can do Paris up right) insouciance. And hearing Justin Gimelstob fawn over Brooklyn like I've heard him do on air repeatedly. But here's some of my pet peeves about watching this French Open:--If I have to watch that Longines watch commercial again about Andre Agassi's charter school, I'm going to puke.--Martina Navratilova says Serena is as quiet as a "church mouse."--Gimelstob says Roddick forehand is a liability like he's analyzing a stock.--Ted Robinson and John McEnroe have turned into an old couple with Ted playing the role of enabler.--Pat McEnroe and Brad Gilbert and Darren Cahill like to share a jocularity that is more common in college frat mates than 40+ sportscasters.--There aren't any eccentrics, characters playing anymore---the Andrew Ilie's, Illie's Nastase's, Vince Spadea's, even Yannick Noah, and Henri Leconte. When there are no French characters anymore, when they come across as just another American, what has the tennis world come to? I guess there's still Anaud Clement, but I didn't get to see him play on TV. I miss Fabrice Santoro already.